inescapable when dating in Japan

When I studied abroad in Japan years ago, I remember being struck by how many people in my program came because of a love for anime.

I also remember how many of those same individuals were anxious to date a Japanese girl — a phenomenon not uncommon to language schools and foreign exchange programs.

“Some of my guy friends at school have admitted that they’ve got a bit of an Asian fetish,” says Emily Brown, a 25-year-old student at a language school in Fukuoka. “They’ll openly admit that they like Asian girls, and there’s also a fetish for foreign guys among Japanese women.”

This dynamic has led to terms like “gaijin hunters” and “yellow fever,” which have complex structural, racial and cultural dynamics behind them. In addition, fetishes and attraction don’t always impact what it’s really like to find love as a person living in Japan.

After talking to people in the international community about dating apps last month, I wanted to ask people what they thought about gender and cultural roles in interracial and intercultural dating. As with the previous article, some of the people I spoke to asked for aliases so that they could keep their private and professional lives separate and speak about their experiences in a more honest way.

Himono-onna, Minato-ku joshi, Age-Man... You may have overheard these terms or seen them appearing repeatedly on social media. What do they mean, and what have they got to do with women in Japan? Well, this article will answer your questions—and give you a glimpse of not only the women behind those inventive groups but the Japanese society as a whole.

If you’ve lived in Japan for a while now you may have overheard people saying things like: “She’s sure an age-man, her husband got promoted right after they got married,” or “That girl is so nikushoku-joshi, she doesn’t care if the guy she has a crush on has a girlfriend or not. She just goes for him,”—or even, “I was a bari-kyari until I got pregnant. Now, I’m a yuru-kyari and earn less than before, but I’m glad I made that decision because everyone in my family is happy!”

The list is endless and these are all words and phrases that categorize and describe types of women in Japanese culture. You’ve probably noticed that Japanese women (and men) like to and tend to categorize others—and themselves—based on their personality, actions, and behaviors, as well as how they’d chosen to live their lives.

But why so many labels do exist in Japan?
This tendency probably has a lot to do with the importance of wa (和, group harmony) in the Japanese society—how one should always belong in and conform to a group, and be both dependent on and responsible to other members of that group. This, I believe, is why there are so many categories/groups out there for Japanese women—and why during a joshi-kai (女子会, women’s get-together) and other similar occasions, you’ll hear remarks such as the ones above made over and over again.

Without further ado, let me introduce some common terms and phrases that are often used to depict a certain type of Japanese woman. Some of them have quite a history, but are still commonly heard in daily life; others are buzzwords that have popped on social media and/or appeared in female fashion magazines these last years.

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Whether it's customs around food or manners, Japan is famous for having a rich and unique culture. In fact, some aspects of the dating culture in Japan could be a little tricky to understand from a Western perspective. This article will give you a rundown of Japan's unique dating culture as seen by a Japanese woman in her 20's. Of course, everything in this article is based on the writer's own opinions, but if you're interested in how Japanese couples date, read on to find out more!

'Did you know we don’t really have a "talking stage" in Japan? But we do in America, right?' she said. 'So I was kind of ready to experience some cultural differences in terms of dating.'

Umemori explained that she started going out with a guy she met on an online dating app, and they had 'hung out like five times' when he invited her to his home for the first time.